Marriage is a wonderful thing, but after years of being together, sometimes life in the bedroom can become a little monotonous. Feeling like your intimacy has become monotonous is not a sign that your marriage is headed for trouble or that you don't love your spouse any longer. It just means it's time to make a change and explore some new possibilities when it comes to intimacy. Here are five ways to liven up your bedroom after years of marriage.
Shop for toys together.
Whether you've used toys in the bedroom before or not, shopping for some new ones together is a good way to re-ignite the spark of sexuality. If you're self-conscious about going to an adult toy store on person, try shopping online at a store like Adore Me More. Focus on toys you can use together. If your partner seems interested in something that you don't find particularly appealing, at least consider giving it a try -- you might be surprised.
You can turn the actual experience of shopping for toys together into an intimate experience, lighting some candles and sipping wine while you browse. Then, when the toys come in the mail, you can have another great night of trying them out.
Make lists of things you'd like to try.
Are there things you would like to try in the bedroom but are too embarrassed to bring up to your spouse? Chances are, they have some similar ideas and similar concerns. Each of you should make a list of things you would like to try but have been too scared to suggest. Unfold and read these lists together, and then commit to trying one new thing from each of the lists every week. Before long, you'll have discovered a few new moves to add to your repertoire, and you'll also have discovered some things that don't work for you.
Read to each other.
Visit your local library or browse selections of erotic novels online. Then, crawl into bed and take turns reading portions of these steamy novels to each other. It won't be long before you're being more intimate than the characters in the book. Look for novels that come in a series so that when you find a set of characters you both really relate to, you can keep coming back to their stories again and again.
Bring food into the bedroom.
Eating a steak in bed is probably not something you find sexy (though everyone has different tastes). But nibbling on strawberries, chocolate, or even hard candy might be. Try bringing a non-messy, delicious food into bed and experiment with feeding it to your partner in an intimate way. Watch as they bite into a strawberry and then kiss you, and have them do the same. Maybe you'll find this erotic and maybe you won't, but many couples are surprised how much it livens up their intimacy level.
Create more intimacy outside of the bedroom.
Often, if you increase the intimacy you feel with your spouse outside of the bedroom, that intimacy will make its way back into the bedroom, too. Here are a few ways to foster non-sexual intimacy with your spouse:
- Give them small, unexpected gifts... not for any occasion, but just to show your love.
- Take a walk together in a beautiful space and spend time admiring nature.
- Watch a romantic movie together and discuss how realistic or non-realistic the plot is.
- Pack a picnic and enjoy it together in a nearby park.
Your marriage may not be as steamy as it once was, but you can get that steaminess back if you follow the tips above and focus on livening up your intimacy level.